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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29381712">We All Have Memories</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheNerdAndFandoms/pseuds/TheNerdAndFandoms'>TheNerdAndFandoms</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Witchlands Series - Susan Dennard</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, I woke up today and decided...why not make my favorite characters experience pain?, I'm Sorry, I'm so sorry, It was in the back of my mind...I couldn't just not write it., Major character death - Freeform, honestly. - Freeform, i don't know what to say</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 07:07:33</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>667</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29381712</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheNerdAndFandoms/pseuds/TheNerdAndFandoms</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
      <p>I'm so sorry.</p>
    </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Aeduan &amp; Iseult det Midenzi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>We All Have Memories</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I'm so sorry.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>He’s dead. He’s dead and I’m alive and I can’t breathe.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span> Memories flick through my head; a painful reminder of what I once had. Hopes join the memories to show me what could have been if I had not been an idiot. If I had not let him leave. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I remember when I first saw his eyes. How startlingly blue they had been. Then, I had thought him a monster. I realized too late that he wasn’t. Too much time with him was lost. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I remember when he gave me his cloak in Lejna. Before that I had been pretending to be Safi. He was nowhere near kind, but he had...cared. That was the first time I realized he was just like any other human.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I remember when I saw him stuck in the trap on the Nomatsi road. The feel of his bare skin against my freezing fingers. I remember the rush it had given me to touch him. How peaceful he had looked. The second time I thought of him as human.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I remember how he had pinned me against the tree when I had startled him. His arms on either side of my face and his face so close. Not close enough. He had looked shocked. The third time.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Over and over again he had had me on my back when we sparred while we were traveling together. He never let me drop to the ground though. Had always lowered me slowly. It had made my heart stutter. Still his eyes had bore into me with such gentleness. Human. The fourth time.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>His fingers brushing against mine in the Amonra. I thought I was going to die that day. But he gave me hope with each second that passed after he had grasped my hand. Fifth time.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The day he had brought Owl back with him. He had been covered in blood and was injured but he had cared for her. His daughter. Our daughter. She had held onto him as if he was the only one she could trust in this lonely world. The sixth time. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>When we were at the inn in Tirla and he had asked me to stay. I was so frightened that he would die at that inn. Of course I would stay. When he left Owl and me, I was so angry. Angry at him for thinking that he could just abandon us after all we had been through. But he had looked at me with desperation in his eyes when he told us to leave. Seventh time. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>When he was as good as dead at the monastery. I couldn’t give up hope that I could save him. He had saved me from drowning in the Well and his face held so much. So much kindness. So much relief. So much care. So much...love. I knew I loved him then and I never wanted to leave him. Never wanted to let go again. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>We always knew there would be casualties in the war. I just never thought it would be him. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>My Bloodwitch was dead. Aeduan. It was too much. I couldn’t breathe.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>How could I ever go on without him after I know what it’s like to be cared for and loved so thoroughly?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>I awoke gasping and tears streamed down my face. The remnants of the nightmare still plagued my mind. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I felt his hand come around my waist and his lips on my neck. It comforted me. It always did. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I could barely contain my sobs as he turned me to face him. His blue eyes looked so worried and full of love. He says, “Shhh, Iseult. It’s okay. It’s just a dream. I love you so much. You’re okay.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I take a deep breath and throw my arms around his neck. This is how we get through the nightmares. He comforts me when I have them. I comfort him when he gets them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I love you, Aeduan.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you too, Iseult.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I have nothing to say for myself. You can yell at me in the comments if you want.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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